A Travellerspoint blog

Third Party

How's it like to be the other man...


In our society, whether gay or straight, people had their own stories to tell. Those funny and crazy ones are so easy to share to others. But how about those sad and painful ones? Some people, they prefer to share it to others so that those who knew will know what to do if the time comes that they will experience the same. Some just leave it all behind and forget about it but it's easier said that done.

I was talking to a friend the other day and he's complaining about his love life. The usual story, boy meets boy. They liked each other so they went out, had sex and had a somehow ideal relationship. Of course, all of that happened before boy #1 knew that boy#2 is already committed. This kind of thing happens all kind of relationships. May it be homosexual or heterosexual.

Often times, we say that the legal partner is pitiful. But have you ever heard the other side of the story?

While I was talking to that friend of mine through text, I asked him if he knew that the guy he was dating is already committed. He said "no". Although I'm not fully convinced, I asked him another question and that is what he's gonna do now that he knew. He told me honestly that he's afraid to confront his lover and that he's feeling guilty already. As what others advised him, I told him to break up with the guy. That since he already knew about him being the third party, he should do the right thing and that is not to see the guy he's dating ever again.

And then it struck me. Did my friend really do something wrong? All he did is fall in love and hope for the best, that's all. If he doesn't really know, then doesn't that make him the victim. But what if he knew all along and he let himself fall into a trap that he cant get out and he's only telling me that he doesn't knew about it before so that way I won't think of him as a bad person? Then that means he's at fault.

As time passed by, and after almost 20 text messages, he said he'll end the relationship. I told him that it's the best thing to do and that he won't regret it because he deserve better. And then I thought, what if I was on his shoes? Where would I find the courage to make a decision? And then it became clear to me...Why would I think about such a thing?

I have to be thankful instead because I'm not the one who fell into such trap. But being the other man sure beats the hell out of that friend of mine. ^_^

Posted by leesilver 10:35 Archived in Philippines Tagged gay_travel Comments (2)

What was it like before???

I was really touched after reading this and although I'm not a child from the 90's, this reminds me alot of my childhood. Playing all they and not worrying about anything... I miss being a child. Thanks a lot, Christian, for sharing this to us...

Forget them, Wendy. Forget them all. Come with me where you'll never, never have to worry about grown up things again.
-Peter Pan

1950's, 60's and 70's!!

First, some of us survived being born to mothers who did not have an OB-Gyne and drank San Miguel Beer while they carried us.
While pregnant, they took cold or cough medicine, a te isaw, and didn't worry about diabetes.
Then after all that trauma, our baby cribs were made of hard wood covered with lead-based paints, pati na yung walker natin, matigas na kahoy din at wala pang gulong.
We had no soft cushy cribs that play music, no disposable diapers (lampin lang), and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, no kneepads , sometimes wala pang preno yung bisikleta.
As children, we would ride in hot un-airconditioned buses with wooden seats (yung JD bus na pula), or cars with no airconditioning & no seat belts (ngayon lahat may aircon na)
Riding on the back of a carabao on a breezy summer day was considered a treat. (ngayon hindi na nakakakita ng kalabaw ang mga bata)
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle purchased from 711 ( minsan straight from the faucet or poso)
We shared one soft drink bottle with four of our friends, and NO ONE actually died from this. Or contacted hepatitis.
We ate rice with star margarine, drank raw eggs straight from the shell, and drank sofdrinks with real sugar in it (hindi diet coke), but we weren't sick or overweight kasi nga......
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, and get back when the streetlights came on. Sarap mag patintero, tumbang preso , habulan at taguan.
No one was able to reach us all day ( di uso ang cellphone , walang beepers ) . And yes, we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our wooden trolleys (yung bearing ang gulong) or plywood slides out of scraps and then ride down the street , only to find out we forgot the brakes! After hitting the sidewalk or falling into a canal (seweage channel) a few times, we learned to solve the problem ourselves with our bare & dirty hands .
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 100 channels on cable, no DVD movies, no surround stereo, no IPOD's, no cell phones, no computers, no Internet, no chat rooms, and no Friendsters. ...... ...WE HAD REAL FRIENDS and we went outside to actually talk and play with them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no stupid lawsuits from these accidents. The only rubbing we get is from our friends with the words..masakit ba ? pero pag galit yung kalaro mo,,,,ang sasabihin sa iyo..beh buti nga !
We played marbles (jolens) in the dirt , washed our hands just a little and ate dirty ice cream & fish balls. we were not afraid of getting germs in our stomachs.
We had to live with homemade guns " gawa sa kahoy, tinali ng rubberband , sumpit , tirador at kung ano ano pa na puedeng makasakitan. .pero masaya pa rin ang lahat.
We made up games with sticks ( syatong ), and cans ( tumbang preso )and although we were told they were dangerous, wala naman tayong binulag o napatay.paminsan minsan may nabubukulan lang.
We walked, rode bikes, or took tricycles to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them to jump out the window!
Mini basketball teams had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't pass had to learn to deal with the disappointment. Wala yang mga childhood depression at damaged self esteem ek-ek na yan. Ang pikon, talo.
Ang magulang ay nandoon lang para tignan kung ayos lang ang mga bata, hindi para makialam at makipag-away sa ibang parents.
That generation of ours has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers, creative thinkers and successful professionals ever! They are the CEO's, Engineers, Doctors and Military Generals of today.
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had failure, success, and responsibility. We learned from our mistakes the hard way.
You might want to share this with others who've had the privelege to grow up as real kids.
And if you like, forward it to your kids too, so they will know how brave their parents were.
It kind of makes you wanna go out and climb a tree, doesn't it?!

Posted by leesilver 05:07 Archived in Philippines Comments (0)

It's just not my day...

It was Friday morning and my phone is ringing. It was a call from Hoku. I cant decide whether to answer the phone or not. I looked for my alarm clock. It's almost 8:30am. I went to the CR, ignoring the call. Why is he calling me?

I did my morning rituals while still checking if my phone is still ringing. It already stopped right before I finished what I was doing. Then I heard it rang again, this time because of a text message. I hurriedly grabbed my phone hoping it was Beb. It's from Hoku.

"Where are you? Why didn't you answer your phone? I know you don't have work today. Can we talk?" he said on the message.

I don't know why I did but I decided to reply on his text. I've been found out anyways. "Which question would you want me to answer first?"

After 5mins of waiting on his reply, he called my phone again but this time, I picked up.

"Good Morning." I heard on the other line.
"Not a good one for me though..." I heard him sigh on the other line.
"Can I see you later on today?" he asked.
"Nope. I have something important to do." I answered.
"What? Or rather who? Is it Beb?"
"None of your business." i said but he got my answer, it's a 'yes'.
"Look, can we just have coffee or lunch together?"

I thought of a good excuse so I wont have to go.

"It wont be long. I just need to talk to you." he bargained.
"Fine." I said. "What time?"
"Is 11:30am fine with you?"
"Ok. I'll see you at shangrila?"
"Ok. I'll see you there. Take care."
"You too..." I told him as we ended the conversation.

Hoku is my ex-boyfriend. We were together for a year and a half.

By 11:45, I was at shangrila. I went to KFC where I saw him standing by the entrance.

"Kamusta?" bati nya sakin.
"Am good." sagot ko naman habang naglalakad papuntang counter. "Umorder na tayo para makaupo na tayo."

"You know that me and JM broke up, right?" una syang nagsalita nang makahanap kami ng mauupuan at habang naghihintay ng order namin.
"Yes." sagot ko naman. "So what do you want to talk about?"
"My mom misses you." he answered. "She was asking me kung ok ka."
"Tell her I do. And that I miss her, too." I said.

It is true, though, that I miss his mom. She lives in Hawai'i. When we're still together, his mom spent a whole month vacation here. It was fun meeting his mom.

I was thinking about it when our food arrived.

"My mom, she really likes you a lot." Hoku said after drinking his soda. "Nung nagbreak nga kami ni JM, my mom was asking if you're still single. Kasi daw, if you are, bakit di na lang maging tayo ulit." he looked at me and smiled.

It was an awkward moment for me. I didn't know what to say, really. I don't even know what to think. I looked at him and told him, "It's better that we don't."

"I know. I'm just saying. Did you know that JM is so jealous of you?"
Umandar na naman ang pagka-vain ko, "OO!" sagot ko. Natawa na lang kami.
"Remember the time when you, me and him met at SM North? Pinag-awayan namin yung araw na yun" he asked while eating.
Natawa lang ako. "Yeah! Tanong ka nang tanong nun, kung kamusta na ako and stuff... Iritable na nga ako eh. Tapos nilibre mo pa ako ng lunch nun nagyaya kumain si JM sa Tokyo Tokyo while he paid his own food. I was texting my bestfriend back then kaya natagalan ko kayo." I laughed with, I must admit, bitterness.
"Kaya ka pala natatawa ka nun pero pinipigil mo." he smiled at me. Nagpapakyut ba to, tanong ko sa sarili ko.

I didn't say anything habang tinatapos namin yung pagkain namin. Wala din naman akong sasabihin so I remained quiet.

"So are you dating someone?" I asked after I finished my food.
"I'm dating 4 guys right now." he answered as he finish his food. "No. Make that three. I already talked to the other one and told him that we're not really meant to be."
"You still haven't change, I see." walang kagatol-gatol kong nasabi.
"What do you mean by that?" he asked.
"Well, you know, you flirted with JM while we're still together and now you're dating 3guys at the same time." sagot ko. He didn't say anything, natawa lang sya.

After that, I decided to go home. Hindi na niya ako pinigil because I told him that I have to meet up with Beb after his shift. Pero bago pa ako makatayo sa kinauupuan ko, he asked me something...

"Maghahanap ako ng bagong mauupahan, probably by October. It's just that nasanay na akong you're always around kaya medyo nahirapan akong mag-adjust nun umalis ka sa bahay at si JM ang pumalit. Uhm, would you consider being housemate with me?" nabigla ako sa sinabi nya.
"I don't think so, Hoku." I lowered my head so I don't have to look in his face.
"Do you love Beb?" napatingin ako sa kanya.
"Yes, I do."

And with that, tumayo na ako sa upuan ko at umalis na.

Posted by leesilver 16:43 Archived in Philippines Tagged gay_travel Comments (1)

To my dearest friend back in college...


Happy Birthday, dear Jam!

I'm truly happy that somehow, we talked online before your bday (at nabati pa kita!). Although its been 4 year already since huli tayong magkita, nagawa nating i-retain yung friendship natin. Regardless of the length of time since the last moment we've seen each other.

I wanna thank you for being a good friend when we're still in college. For comforting me when I'm down. I also wanna thank you for joining the school play just because me and the gang told you so since we're also joining the play.

Sorry for giving you nicknames. I know how much you were irritated whenever the whole class calls you "Imang" ever since I started calling you like that. But hey, at least it made the whole class laugh!

Jam, we had fun back then. We also shed tears for some reason I can't remember. You're always there not only for me but also for our friends. And now, for your birthday, I'm hoping that you really get what you deserve. For all the hardwork in school and all the challenges that you overcome. It is a pleasure to have a friend like you.

Again, happy birthday... and I'll see you on Saturday (finally). I miss you, gurl!

Posted by leesilver 20:20 Archived in Philippines Tagged gay_travel Comments (1)


Last Monday, me and my cousin were talking. We were in his room because I asked him if I can use his computer. Pumayag naman sya at nahiga na lang sa kama while I was checking my mails.

"It's nice having a boyfriend. But isn't it nicer if you can be yourself? I mean do something on your own or go out alone." my cousin blurted out.

"Yeah! It is nice to be alone sometimes... You know! Going grocery shopping, watching movie or maybe just lying in your bed alone..." I answered but not really interested.

My cousin is also gay. Probably that's why I'm living with him dahil pareho naman kami (aside from the fact na malapit lang yung bahay namin sa work ko). Right now, he's dating two guys. Yes, two guys. Let's call them R and M. R is a 25year old guy. I met him last friday night since my cousin let R sleep over in our house (btw, this is not the first time he let someone sleepover at our house). R stayed for about 2days here so I got the chance to talk to him although supladita-effect ang drama ko. Sunday morning na sya umuwi. Gumawa talaga ng paraan si cousin para mapauwi sya (cousin asked me to go out and make up a story na pupunta akong Makati para isabay ko na si R at maituro ko ang sasakyan nya pauwi).

Kinagabihan, may kumatok sa pinto. I didn't know who it is so I checked it out. It was M and he had pasalubong (meaning 1.5 na coke at 2 mr. chips kaya lalong tumataba si cousin e) for my cousin. M is a college student and he's 17years of age. I called cousin from upstairs. Cousin and M talked while I'm watching anime sa sala. Apparently, di nagtext si M kay cousin because he's low bat and he just decided to come over., yes, on his own.

So in conclusion, the whole weekend na walang pasok si cousin, he was just staying at home while entertaining his guest. And of course, sex is always in the menu.

"Talaga? You watch movie ng mag-isa?" he asked.

"Yes! It was fun. Lalo na pag last full show. Bumibili pa ako ng popcorn bago pumasok sa loob ng sinehan." I explained.

"What do you think of R?" cousin asked again.

"He's funny." R is funny., sometimes. Although madalas, di ko sya maintindihan kasi parang lagi niyang kinakain yung words.

"I think so, too." cousin said. "I just hate it when people stay long after sex. You know what I mean, right? Sometimes, I also need space so I can rest after that."

Ano ka? Alien kaya you need space? I thought pero di ko na sinabi. I thought it wasn't the right time to joke around.

"Sino ba talaga sa kanila?" I dared to ask him.

"I dunno. I mean, R is funny. And M, he's too young for me but he's sweet. To think he's a student at nagdadala pa sya ng pasalubong for me." He replied.

I didn't say anything. Pero I told something to him in my head.

"You gotta think fast, dear cousin. Baka pareho pa silang mawala sayo..."

Posted by leesilver 18:58 Archived in Philippines Tagged gay_travel Comments (1)

(Entries 1 - 5 of 7) Page [1] 2 »